Published: 2:21 PM 6/12/2013
By Denis Kilcommons, Huddersfield Daily Examiner
APPARENTLY 1,500 Britons claim they are abducted by aliens each year. Some lose hours out of their lives on their way home and don’t know where they have been. But I’m not sure their wives believe them.
“I’m sorry; love, but this bright light attracted me. My mind was probed by a strange creature and the next thing I knew; I was two hours late for tea.”
“You’ve been in the Flying Cow with Kev again, haven’t you?”
Alien abductions are popular. Everybody is fascinated by the possibility. I mean it makes a change from going to work.
A percentage who claim to have been beamed up into a strange craft are obviously faking it. Some will be a few light years short of a star trip. And others genuinely believe what they claim. This latter lot need and deserve help. The place they call in Britain is Ammach - Anomalous Mind Management Abductee Contactee Helpline.
That’s the organisation that says 1,500 Brits a year are taken. Well, it beats Benidorm for your holidays.
A Channel 4 documentary Alien Abductee on Thursday, 9 pm, investigates the helpline and some of its clients, including a town councillor who believes that in addition to his wife at home, he has an alien family, and Chantelle who says she has been abducted thousands of times and wants it to stop.
Well, you would, wouldn’t you? You couldn’t even plan a trip to Sainsbury’s without wondering whether your weekly shop would end up on the dinner table of Commander Og of the Starship Burp.
Of course, people have been enlivening dull lives for centuries by visiting spirit worlds. They claimed visions and visitations from angels and abductions by gods or evil influences. Druids, priests and wise men and women interpreted dreams and encounters.
Then came the UFO phenomenon of the 1940s with the first use of the term flying saucer and a high altitude weather balloon that crashed at Roswell, New Mexico. The new age of aliens was launched.
What seems amazing is that, in this age of technology, there is still no proof of their existence. Still, it makes a good story and science fiction writers have created the background into which abductees find a neat niche.
A few years ago, thousands of documents were released by the National Archives about close encounters. There was plenty to amuse but not a lot of evidence although in 1967 the UK secretly mobilised against a possible alien invasion after reported sightings of flying saucers.
It turned out to be a hoax by students at Farnborough Technical College.
There was also the chap in 1988 who said he believed he had been abducted by aliens from the back garden of his home in the London suburb of Barnes. He felt he had gained an hour. The Ministry of Defence pointed out that the clocks had gone back.
Still, I shall tune in on Thursday to watch the programme. Unless Kev abducts me to the pub.