Published: 1:51 AM 11/22/2014
to any nuclear wielding aliens out there, bring it...
BY CHRIS QUINN
Brace yourselves; the same alien race that destroyed the Martians with nuclear bombs could very well target Earth soon.
Don't scoff; heed the warning of University of California at Davis theoretical plasma physicist Dr. John Brandenburg whose theory of Martian genocide is based solely on "science."
The ancient Martians, called Cydonians and Utopians, were wiped out by a third unnamed, nuclear wielding, alien race says Brandenburg.
He cites radioactive substances that cover the Martian surface and large amounts of nuclear isotopes in Mars' atmosphere as the base for these theories.
According to a Daily Mail report Brandenburg will further his theory of Mars genocide during the 2014 Annual Fall Meeting of the American Physical Society, Saturday in Illinois.
The story continued to explain how as early as 2011 Brandenburg felt the nuclear explosion that killed the Martians could have been naturally occurring.
Naturally occurring nuclear explosions? Life on Mars must have been harrowing indeed.
From his presentation, "Evidence of Massive Thermonuclear Explosions in Mars Past, The Cydonian Hypothesis, and Fermi's Paradox," and reprinted in the Daily Mail piece:
"The author therefore advocates that a human mission to Mars is mounted immediately to maximize knowledge of what occurred."
Brandenburg also notes that such a manned mission could forestall a similar fate, or at least better prepare Earthlings, should the same nuclear wielding alien race show up in our galaxy again.
So if history repeats itself, we're all doomed. But if Hollywood has taught us anything it is that there is no extraterrestrial threat that cannot be overcome with a few well-placed one-liners.
The cries of Cydonians and Utopian justice will not go unheeded.
So, to any nuclear wielding aliens out there... bring it.